One Jewel, Two Souls, Three Hearts
by silver-bubbls
Summary: A multi part story about a love that cuts across time and space as Kikyo, Inuyasha and Kagome reflect on a love that binds a Jewel, two Souls and three Hearts in a web of passion, desire, betrayal and love.
1. Kikyo's Story: Love me Forever

A look in to the emotions that bind Kikyo, Inuyasha and Kagome to each other and the desires, fears, insecurities and hopes that dwell in each of them. 

Inuyasha isn't mine, if he was I'd feed him steak and rub his ears all day. 

"I tell thee, minstrel, I must weep,

Or else, this heavy heart will burst;

For it hath been by sorrow nursed,

And ached in sleepless silence long;

And now 'tis doom'd to know the worst,

And break at once- or yield to song."

~Lord Byron

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One Jewel, Two Souls, Three Hearts

            Always revered, forever respected. All those who crossed my path, friend or foe alike never saw past my identity as a miko. Youkai reviled me, people worshiped me, and even my sole flesh and blood kin stood in constant awe of me. I never had the chance to become a woman, my duty to guard the Shikon no Tama superseded any dreams or desires I might have had.  

            As soon as I had been old enough, I had been sent away from my parents to train and hone the miko powers that were inherent in me. In those long years, I learned not to cry or laugh, but to master those latent powers, to master my self. I learned to hold myself aloof from humanity, detach myself from human desires while training to protect humanity. But what is knowledge without love, wisdom without compassion. I would later find out, when all would be in vain. For my efforts, I was entrusted with the Shikon no Tama. That sparkling orb beckoned to all with promises of untold glory while condemning me to a lifetime of servitude. Where others marvelled at its beauty and power, I saw it as a millstone, keeping me endlessly circling while going nowhere. 

            As a miko, I learned never to let my emotions show, but they always bubbled under the surface. Simmering but never boiling over. I thought I had almost resigned myself to the life dictated for me by fate and my own karma when he came in to my life. 

            In all my years as a miko and protector of the Shikon no Tama, I had fought many a youkai and on occasion corrupt humans intent on possessing the Shikon Jewel. And then I met him. Neither youkai nor human, he lived on the fringes of both worlds. Perhaps that was what drew me to him. On the surface, this hanyou could not be any further from the respected miko that I was. Yet this rough and oftentimes brusque hanyou shared more with me than most people. Feared by humans, despised by youkai. This was a predicament I could understand. Both of us were forever on the outside looking in. Brought together by fate, drawn together by loneliness, bound together by karma, he became mine. 

            The seasons Inuyasha and I had together felt so brief and yet the endless summer days seemed to stretch golden. The sultry summer heat seemed to burn the sky and earth in to deeper, bolder colours. Or perhaps for the first time I did not view this world with miko detachment. The intensity of those days took my breath away. Unsure of what the future would bring Inuyasha and I lived for the moment. We spend as much time as we could together. Often he would accompany me to look for healing herbs, and we would picnic by the river, under the trees. Our first kiss is burned in my mind's eye. That evening the sun seemed afire, bathing all it touched in a cloak of flame. The moment our lips touched my world lost all bearing. In his arms, I became no longer a miko, but a woman. I could feel his desire for me and it had nothing to do with my powers, nor the stone in my possession. I know because his desire matched my own. 

            As the summer heat drifted towards autumn, our relationship became less frantic. Perhaps we thought the summer of our relationship would never end. That is not to say my passion for him dulled, but like the riotous colours of autumn, the dimensions of our relationship grew. No longer was I just content with having him by my side, I wanted to see his heart and soul. At times he let me, put down his gruff exterior and let me see his heart. 

            By the last winter of my life, Inuyasha and I had developed an understanding. We had reached a comfort lever with each other that did not require words to express. Inside I burned for him as much as ever. Sometimes just looking at him would be enough to cause a slow burn to alight and spread itself from the centre of my being to the tips of my toes. Outwardly I was as calm and serene as the gentle fall of snowflakes in the midwinter dusk. Part of me longer to throw off the shackles of my duty and possess my hanyou entirely, just as he had captured my heart. The miko part of me scoffed at these impulses and scored my heart for being silly. Yet my heart knew that Inuyasha wanted me as I wanted him. The struggle within me never ceased, until my life did. But for the moment I let my heart gain dominance. 

            I was returning from a neighbouring village about three days journey from my own. As always, Inuyasha followed from the trees. As the sun slowly sank, I found his golden gaze fixated on me. The setting sun and the twin fires that glowed in those molten jewels burned in to my retina. That night in an abandoned hut left empty by war and carnage, I forgot that I was a miko. Casting off the shackles of my duty and decorum I gave myself to him. In return he claimed me as his. As the night faded away to reveal the cold grey light of day, I looked over at my loved, his handsome face still partially shadowed, casting an ethereal beauty over him. But even in the dim light I could see those furry triangles twitch atop his head, symbols of his youkai heritage. Those two little triangles reminded me that in spite of the declarations the night before, and my elation when I felt his body inside mine, that I could not yet be his. In the eyes of the world I was a miko and he was a hanyou. 

            Shortly after, I returned to my village and bid Inuyasha a temporary farewell, as he would not follow me in to the village. It was during this time that I found a badly injured wild-thief, Onigumo. 

            As the ice thawed and spring returned so marked the beginning of the end. Unknowing to me that these would be my last days in the land of the living, I settled in to a monotonous routine. Ever few days I would go to the cave the wild-thief lay in and change his dressings. In between I would picnic with Inuyasha, or visit neighbouring villages, or fight off youkai. It was like this that Onigumo became Naraku and my inability to accept Inuyasha the way he was took any chance of happiness that I had and ended my life. 

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The love triangle in the anime and the inner turmoil of the three that form the triangle are one of the most fascinating aspects of the anime. I find Inuyasha to be a much deeper character than is shown. The movies give us a better look in to the relationship between Inuyasha and Kagome and Inuyasha and Kikyo. A moment of angst inspired this. I'm not 

sure how many more parts this will have, but it will have at least 3 in total. Read, enjoy (I hope) and review! (please?)

~silver bubbls


	2. Inuyasha's story: For Love and Honour

A look in to the emotions that bind Kikyo, Inuyasha and Kagome to each other and the desires, fears, insecurities and hopes that dwell in each of them. 

Inuyasha isn't mine. If he were I'd rub those furry ears of his all day.

"Thus has it been with passion's fires-

As many a boy and girl remembers-

While every hope of love expires,

Extinguish'd with the dying embers.

In one who felt as once he felt,

This might, perhaps have fann'd the flame

But now his heart no more will melt,

Because that heart is no more the same."

 ~Lord Byron

One Jewel, Two Souls, Three Hearts

Inuyasha's Story: For Love and Honour

            I learned at a young age that I could ill afford the luxury of feeling. As the son of an Inu Taiyoukai and a human hime, humans regarded me as a monster.  I was viewed as the unfortunate result of a forced coupling between their lovely hime-sama and an evil youkai lord who had forced himself on her. When they discovered love had existed between my mother and father, they shunned us both. Youkai despised me; I was a weak half-breed with tainted blood, unworthy of the heritage my father had given me, weakened by my humanity. 

            I don't really recall when I realised that emotions were not a privilege a hanyou could enjoy. Perhaps it was the first time Sesshomaru sneered at me, with my inferior human blood and my human stench. Or perhaps it was the first time humans taunted me and I saw my mother's face streaked with tears when I asked her what hanyou meant. In any case, a short time later I was alone in the world with no kin to speak of, or at least none that would ever claim me as one of their own. Not that I gave a fuck anyway. I was doing fine on my own. Even as a hanyou I was much stronger than most youkai. I didn't need anyone, I didn't give a damn about anyone and I sure as hell didn't need anyone to give a damn about me.  I was however, determined to prove my strength to the youkai who despised me and those puny humans who taunted my mother and I. Maybe deep down I thought that if I were a strong youkai Sesshomaru would stop seeing me as the bastard hanyou brother, an unfortunate accident, a lapse of judgement on our father's part when he took a human mate. Maybe if I were strong, I would no longer be a stain on the clan's honour. So our clan were the Inu youkai of the Western Lands, yet even with my human blood my bloodlines were every bit as noble as any youkai. My mother had been a hime, not even that arrogant half-brother of mine could claim that about his parentage. 

It was during that time I came to learn of the Shikon no Tama. How or precisely when, I no longer recall. With the events that took place later on, that has gradually faded in to my memory. Looking back, I'm not sure why I did things the way I did. Perhaps it was karma, or destiny or perhaps maybe my own luck good or bad. Or maybe, just maybe, everything including my existence was one big joke of the kami. 

But when I heard rumours of the Jewel that could grant any wish, I thought I'd finally become a full and proper taiyoukai. For weeks I tracked the Shikon no Tama, the priestess who guarded it never seemed to stay in one place for long. When I finally met her for the first time, I was struck, struck by the gentle, yet determined expression in her grey eyes, by the kindness and the passion that burned inside her. And her miko arrows also struck me. Damn, that woman was good with a bow and arrow. She could hit any still or moving target within two hundred paces, hanyou or youkai. That may have been the reason I couldn't put her from my mind. She pinned me to a tree by the sleeves of my robes after one of my attempts to steal the Shikon no Tama and yet she didn't kill me. I was humiliated, enraged and intrigued. Again and again I would seek out the priestess who was guardian of the Shikon jewel that I coveted. Again and again, she would have me at her mercy, pinned by her arrows. Each time, I'd leave without the jewel or any injuries save my pride. 

It became a bit of a game for us. As time passed I no longer knew whether I sought the jewel or her. Finally I asked her why she didn't just kill me and be done with it. Her answer and the look in her eyes as she answered me shook me to my soul: "I can't kill you, we're too much alike." Initially I reacted in anger, my customary response. How could a revered miko have anything in common with a hanyou such as I? I began to watch her from a distance and realised she was right. As high and mighty as she was, she was kept at arms length by all those around her. She was as lonely as I was. Although not physically alone, her gifts and duties set her apart. She must have sensed my presence following her because one day she stopped in a clearing in the forest and asked me to come out. She proceeded to unpack some of the food she'd brought and invited me to eat with her. Wary at first, I grudgingly began to eat when she did. Maybe that was our first date. 

Kagome thinks I don't know what a date is. I let her think that, it's easier than explaining to someone who always jumps to conclusions, and the wrong ones at that. In any case, I can't change the past or what I did with Kikyo, and I'm not sure I'd want to either. I have my reasons, and they're not perverted bouzu reasons either. It was on the way back to Kikyo's village that I kissed her for the first time. At first I wasn't sure if she'd let me, but it soon became obvious she wanted it as much as I. For me, it was a very real and tangible sigh that I wasn't dreaming. There was actually someone in this world other than my mother who didn't find me repulsive, that someone cared. Of course part of it was pure unadulterated lust. On my part as well as Kikyo's. 

It was a mere few months later, coming back from some village or other where Kikyo had been warding off youkai. I had waited for her on the outskirts of the village, as was my custom. We grew in to a comfortable ritual of me travelling with her but never entering any village. For the space between human settlements we were simply a male and his beloved. And on one journey we became a male and his mate. In retrospect I realised now that the physical act intended to cement our bond had the effect of driving a wedge between Kikyo and I. For me, she became my mate but for her, I think it pushed her to acknowledge something that she had always known; we had no future. A miko bonded to a hanyou was ridiculous. I think it was during time she hatched the idea of having me with on the Shikon no Tama to become human and set us both free. Of course, she didn't mention any of this until much later. Not that I hesitated in agreeing anyway.   

It's been fifty years since Kikyo pinned me to the Goshinboku, by an arrow through my heart. I wonder what would have happened had Naraku had never come to be; would I be human now, an old man with grandchildren at my knees. Or perhaps Kikyo and I were never meant to be. Despite our feelings for each other, our physical relationship, I didn't trust her. Not the way I trust Kagome.

Kagome, that simple, insecure, generous, loving, loyal wench that has promised to stay by my side even after I sent her away. Somewhere along the way, she has managed to worm herself inside the walls I've erected around my heart. I remember when I first met her and wanted to kill her. I was so confused, this girl who looked just like the woman who had pinned me with her arrows. The one I loved and had killed me. I was also turned on as hell, obviously because of her resemblance to Kikyo. Shortly thereafter the wench relieved me of my misconceptions. The girl couldn't even shoot straight. 

But now, now I trust her more than anyone I've ever trusted since okaa-san died. But even my mother didn't know everything about me. I never let her see my hurt when humans would curse and throw rocks at me. Kagome knows all of that. I know her feelings for me, I'm not as oblivious as others think not to mention she's terrible at masking her emotions. Those eyes of hers give everything away. 

Kikyo was always clam and serene, appearance wise anyway. The only times she let that mask drop was during our love-making, but even that was temporary. That and when she pinned me to the Goshinboku. So even though I know how Kagome feels I'm not free to speak up. I've promised my life to another, provided I come out alive with this thing with Naraku. 

And Kagome, she belongs to another time, another place. Each time she goes home, I'm acutely aware that her place is elsewhere. While the gadgets she brings back from her time make life much easier, they serve as reminders that she is not here to stay. What is there that I can say or offer that could change this reality? Still it riles me and makes my blood boil when I see her bring all friendly with that wimpy wolf. And even thought I know she doesn't care for him in that way, and that I hurt her each time I leave to see Kikyo, I can say nothing. Offering reassurances and making promises would only make our inevitable parting more painful. 

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Perhaps this may not seem typical Inuyasha, but I believe inside he's intelligent, sensitive and more than capable of loving. His past experiences have made him wary and the way he acts are defense mechanisms to protect himself. Don't forget he's also very young, teenage boys aren't known for their maturity. I have the feeling though, that to be beloved of Inuyasha must be a wonderful thing. If nothing else, his inability to forget Kikyo shows he's loyal and true. Kikyo is his first love, don't we all tend to have a soft spot for that person, whether they deserve it or not? A tendency to view relationships that might have been or could have been with rose coloured glasses is no more than human nature. 

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! 

~silver bubbls


	3. Kagome's Story: Love you forever

Kagome's Story: Love you forever

"And wilt thou weep when I am low?  
Sweet lady! speak those words again:  
Yet if they grieve thee, say not so-  
I would not give that bosom pain.

My heart is sad, my hopes are gone,  
My blood runs coldly through my breast;  
And when I perish, thou alone  
Wilt sigh above my place of rest.

And yet, methinks, a gleam of peace  
Doth through my cloud of anguish shine:  
And for a while my sorrows cease,  
To know thy heart hath felt for mine."

~Lord Byron

For a year now, I've roamed the countryside of the wild and turbulent Sengoku Jidai. Perhaps roam is not the right word, but I have crossed what will become known as Japan many times, by bicycle, upon a fire-cat youkai and on the back of my hanyou. My hanyou; but he is not truly mine.

Inuyasha, the axis upon which my world tilts is mine to fight with, mine to nurse and mine to love. Mine to love but not to hold. Mine to nurse but not to keep. How do I know this? I know this as I know that I love him with all my soul, including the fragment that is not with me. When his twin suns blaze in the heat of battle, in the passion of his hate for Naraku or his love for Kikyo, my heart, as though powered by this same energy erupts with a roar. But when Inuyasha withdraws in to himself and places himself just outside the circle of our friends, I also know with the same certainty that his thoughts have flown away to seek that fragment of my soul.

Perhaps that is the reason I insist on returning to my time, to my friends, to my school. Even though I know this will delay our progress in collecting the Shikon shards I scattered and irritate Inuyasha to no end. True, the supplies I bring back make our lives a little more comfortable on the road but between Miroku's 'exorcisms' and Sango and Inuyasha's skills, we are able to survive without instant ramen and water bottles. I need to prove to myself, he cares enough to come fetch me, to get angry at my leaving.

And, once the jewel is complete and Naraku defeated, I need a home to return to. After all, Inuyasha is going to hell with Kikyo, isn't he?

I look at myself in the reflection of the stream as I fill my water bottle. The skies are a pure, endless blue above me, the likes of which are never seen in modern Tokyo. The grass is a verdant green beneath my feet, the colours framing my face. In the past year, I've grown taller, the same height as Kikyo now. My cheekbones have become more prominent and my chin a little sharper. The roundness of face that followed me all through elementary school and junior high has evolved in to an elegant bone structure.

I wonder if Inuyasha sees these changes, or if he still sees a watered down copy of Kikyo. I'm pretty enough, if the boys on both sides of the well are to be believed. Yet Inuyasha is determined to be true to my past self. I don't know whether to rage at him or to love him all the more for his loyalty.

So, I end up alternately raging and falling even deeper in love. All I hope for is to stay with him as long as he will have me. I will be by Inuyasha's side until he goes to hell with Kikyo. And then, I suppose my soul will be intact once more even though my heart will be anything but.


End file.
